Crazy In Love
by toughlover
Summary: Jade was a normal girl, but what kind of normal girl can hear, smell and kiss somebody that nobody else can see. The heart wants what the heart wants, and Jade's heart wants Cat Valentine. An imaginary girl. Oneshot


For a minute her breath caught and she swore that what she was seeing wasn't real. For as long as Jade could remember the bright red-headed girl only existed in her dreams, the place that nobody could dare disturb her. However, now she was in the hallway, in her school, people could look at her and fall in love with her. Jade wouldn't allow that. Cat was hers, nobody else's, whether she was a dream girl or not. Slowly Jade inhaled, catching the familiar vanilla scent that Cat wore. It danced around her, coddling her like a blanket. "Cat?" Jade whimpered, almost scared to hear the girl answer back. But it was not Cat's voice that responded, it was the annoying and squeaky voice of the tall brunette beside her,

"Jade, why did you say Cat?" Her eyebrow was raised, she was full of wonder, and she was full of agony. "Jade?" Tori asked once more, this time she gripped Jade's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

What was Jade supposed to tell her, that she could see Cat standing in front of them, wearing her little white cotton dress and a pink bow in her hair. Cat's eyes were as big and bright as they ever were; she was once again flawlessly perfect. The way Cat stood there was such an innocent look upon her wounded Jade each time their eyes met. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. For once in her life Jade was forced to admit defeat to being in pain, or in fear. "She's there." Jade mumbled, almost hoping Tori hadn't heard her.

Being the over zealous and nice girl Tori was, she brushed the hair away from Jade's face -an act Jade would never normally tolerate- and cooed," Jade, no she's not. Cat's not real, we've been over this."

Jade knew that, she had always known that. Even when Cat had appeared to her in her sleep and giggled in her head in History class. When Jade was upset, she would feel a hand being gently rubbed across her back, and she knew it was Cat, even though Cat wasn't real. But things had gotten out of hand and Jade had gotten carried away and before she knew it, Cat was more than just a faint giggle or a passing figure in a dream. Nobody would ever understand and Jade knew that. She watched the red head and she heard Tori's concerned voice, but nothing was okay because nothing had been okay ever since ten months ago.

**-o-**

Jade remembered it all very clearly, the day she first ever met Cat Valentine. It wasn't like they ran into each other at the park when their dogs when nuts -Jade wasn't a big fan of dogs- and they didn't unknowingly take each other's books while they were lost in conversation, no, no, it was much more sinister than that. Most things that involved Jade West were.

Sometimes Jade just got the feeling that she was being watched, like a shadow looming over her ready to pounce at any moment, yet there never was a shadow, never. Her friends thought she was paranoid, told her that she needed help. Oh sure, they'd laughed and said that they were joking but Jade found comfort in the fact that somebody else thought she was crazy, it wasn't just her.

When she woke up beside a petite red haired girl with silky pink panamas and an overwhelming smile, Jade knew that all her friends had been right. Cat had giggled, she had grinned, and she introduced herself and shook Jade's hand. That's when things really got crazy. Jade's Mother burst in the room, carrying in Jade's laundry, she didn't look twice at the red head, and she simply glared at Jade and muttered, "So you're actually awake before two?"

Jade gaped at her for what seemed like hours before her Mother left, shivering with fear at the way her Daughter looked at her. "She didn't see you." Jade had whimpered, looking Cat up and down.

Cat winked, "That makes you special."

The shorter girl followed Jade to school that day. No, she didn't walk beside her and make small talk, she lived in Jade's mind, her giggles, her smell, her appearance all appeared to Jade when she needed them the most. This continued for some time. After Jade got over the initial shock of being able to see a girl nobody else could, it became natural for Jade to hear her voice and her laugh or to see her face pass over her eyes, whenever she was upset or bored or in a bad situation.

The day that Jade's Father had left them, she was crying in the bathroom at school, she'd locked herself in and nothing was going to get her out of that stall. But the voice she heard in her head, she didn't mind hearing. It said soothing things, whispered compliments in her ears, Jade even felt a slight rub on her back. She was positive that she was crazy, but she honestly didn't care in the slightest.

This became more frequent, the whispering when Jade needed comforting, soon it progressed to the point where Cat would come just when Jade was bored or needed something to occupy her mind. Cat would come at her call.

It wasn't long before people started to notice the smile Jade was wearing, the way she laughed at herself or whispered a short response to nobody in particular. They wanted to ask her why these things happened, but they weren't sure how. Together they figured out a plan on how to figure out what was going on with Jade. Unfortunately it didn't work out because Jade refused to answer their questions and ran off.

They didn't bring it up for another three weeks, hoping that they'd drawn suspicion away from the topic, until one day at lunch Tori said, "Do you believe in ghosts?" It wasn't a shot at Jade, she was asking everybody, but something inside Jade squirmed uneasily.

Beck nodded, along with Robbie and Trina, but Andre shook his head. "That stuff is whack; people just make that stuff up to sell movies and ghost bobble heads." He took a bite of his salad signalling he was done. It wasn't long before Beck piped up, and Robbie, and Trina and Tori, but never jade. They all bickered back and forth, but never once did Jade utter a word, which wasn't a normal occurrence.

"Don't you have something to say?" Trina said questioningly. Her eyes bore into Jade like drills digging for oil.

Jade shook her head, biting a piece of lettuce off the tip of her fork, "nope." Was all that she said, and that's all she was going to say. The rest of the group wore sad eye through lunch because they hadn't been able to crack her, but they should have known that they weren't dealing with just any teenage girl, they were dealing with Jade West.

**-o-**

From that point on it only got worse. Jade couldn't help but see Cat in the corner of her eyes while she was out and about the world. She would look into a mirror and catch one of those prize winning smiles. It didn't even have to be a mirror, any reflective surface, TV, glasses, window, it all worked for Cat. Jade took comfort in knowing that when she got home Cat would be there, waiting for her, just her. Cat was Jade's little secret and Jade liked it that way.

The whispering turned into full blown conversation. Cat and Jade would talk through classes that bored Jade to tears, most of the time Cat talked and Jade listened, fascinated by the strange stories Cat would tell. A lot of them were about her brother and how insane he was, literally insane. Some were about her dog who liked to save the world by eating, some about her fish who could fly but not swim, Cat even made up one about Jade and her buying a house shaped like a piano and living in it with all the animals Cat wanted. Jade didn't even mind them in Cat's story. Their house was so big that all the neighbourhood kids came over to play in it, and Jade didn't mind them because they were polite and left her alone whenever she wanted them too. When Jade had heard that in the middle of class she chuckled and said, "Good," Causing the attention to turn towards her.

Tori was sitting only a few seats away and she gave her a worried look. Jade's face turned a crimson red; she felt the heat rising into her cheeks. "May I be excused?" She asked. The teacher beckoned for her to leave and so she did. By the time Jade got to the bathroom, Cat had already gone and something inside Jade's gut knew that she wouldn't be coming back for awhile.

That evening at home there was a knock on her door and in barged in the one and only Tori Vega. "Jade I'm concerned." She stated, taking a seat on Jade's couch even though Jade hadn't asked her too. With a menacing step, she followed the brunette over to the couch, but didn't sit. "You keep talking to yourself, laughing to yourself; I think you need some help."

Normally Jade would have gotten angry, furious, over the top mad, but she didn't because she never got the chance. She had insults on the tip of her tongue ready to be flung at Tori, but she was put to a halt by her eavesdropping Mother. Her Mother picked up her limp hand and held it, tears in her eyes, "I've noticed it to Jade, and I didn't want to say anything because I thought it would go away but it's been three months and I'm frightened."

Ever since Jade's Dad had left she'd always had a soft spot for her Mother. Her Mom was still fragile, still breaking, she was scared of a lot of things, and nothing that Jade did ever seemed to make it better. Her Mom only recently started doing her own grocery shopping again, she'd only recently rekindled relationships with old friends, it was hard for Jade's Mother to really cope, but she was finally doing it. Something inside of Jade said that she should get help, because she knew she needed it, not just for her but for her Mother. The one thing that made Jade say okay wasn't her helpless Mother or her worried friends or even her own self diagnosed craziness, it was the red-haired girl in the window behind her Mom nodding and waving like she wanted Jade to do it.

**-o-**

The couch in her therapists' office was hard and didn't offer much comfort or support. Jade had made many complaints about it, but nothing had been done yet. It had already been a month; she had been going to Dr. Hopkins twice a week for four weeks. Over that time Dr. Hopkins had heard every little detail of whom Cat was and why she was so important. What neither of them knew or understood was why Jade could see her and nobody else.

"Perhaps we should try asking Cat?" Dr. Hopkins had suggested.

Jade just shook her head at that thought. "And make her feel like I don't want her here? No." The two of them were stumped and neither was going to win any arguments.

News got around of Jade's therapy appointments and people started talking. It only took a matter of two days for everything to crash around her. She was a freak, a loser, a girl who was missing a couple extra bolts in her head. Beck told her that he needed space, but he'd still be there for her. He never called her or sat with her again. Tori said that she was busy for the rest of the week and as it turned out, all the rest of the month too. Robbie, Andre and Trina kept their distance, Jade didn't even know if any of them were sure what they were cowering from, but it still hurt. She had nobody to turn to, nobody to love her and so she turned to the next best thing -Cat.

Cat appeared to her in her bedroom at night, Jade could feel Cat's arm slink around her shoulder at night, feel her breath, smell her vanilla scent. It was magically intoxicating and it was enough to get Jade through the day because she knew that when she came home Cat would be waiting. She liked hearing those stories, no matter how many times she had heard them, they spread a feeling of peace through her and she felt like nothing in the world could go wrong.

Then there was the one night. The one night that Jade couldn't see Cat and she began to cry. She wasn't just crying she was violently sobbing on the floor and it was crazy because she was crazy and if her Mother came in and asked her what was wrong, Jade couldn't tell her. But she still sat on the floor, cuddling her knees into her chest as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It was a gut wrenching, heartbreaking feeling that started to take over her body.

Around two o'clock in the morning, after crying all that she could until nothing was coming out anymore, Jade unsteadily got to her feet and began crawled into her bed, pulling the sheets up to her. A ghostly voice echoed beside her, "I'm so sorry."

Jade's eyes shot open and they landed on the face of a petite, beautiful and energetic little girl. "Cat!" Jade exclaimed. She wasn't sure what came over her but before she knew what was happening, Jade pounced at Cat -like Jade had always expected that looming shadow to do- and kissed her fiercely. At first Cat was surprised, but her lips started to move along with Jade's mashing together until they were in perfect sync. It was blissful, something ran through Cat and into Jade like a river, it was an angelic feeling, it cleared her of everything that had tainted her heart, every word, every sentence, nothing could have brought Jade down then. Cat's kiss was exactly like being purified, with what -Jade wasn't sure.

Their kiss became more passionate, both of them were so entranced with each other that pulling back wasn't even an option at that point. Jade leaned back, bringing Cat with her, and they lay beside each other, lips locked together, hands tracing each other's bare skin. When Jade finally did pull away she was smiling, "If you're not real then how did that happen?"

Cat giggled and pressed a soft kiss to Jade's forehead, "Go to bed sleepyhead."

Those kinds of visits became more frequent, the kissing, the loving, the hand holding, the smiling at each other like idiots, all the things you did in a relationship became what Cat and Jade did. It wasn't the same thing that Jade and Beck had ever experienced, because even though Beck tried, he just couldn't understand Jade -Cat did. She knew what to stay to stop her from crying, Cat knew which pair of pants made Jade feel pretty, which show to put on when Jade was sick. There were no secrets, nothing could be hidden between them, and Jade had never been happier in her life.

Except for the fact that to the rest of the world Cat wasn't real and Jade was dating a figure of her imagination.

**-o-**

After almost two months of therapy sessions and countless hours of yelling and fighting that left Jade with a two day headache, Jade decided that she would let Dr. Hopkins try something. Hypnotism. So maybe she could see if there was anything pressing down on her memory that would make such things happen. Before Dr. Hopkins was going to do her thing, Jade took out her pocket mirror -the one she had acquired for that specific reason- and saw Cat looking at her, still smiling brightly. "Jade what are you doing?" Dr. Hopkins interrupted.

"Nothing." As much as it pained her she shut the mirror over and slipped it back into her purse. "It was nothing."

Dr. Hopkins took a seat opposite Jade and placed her index fingers together under her chin. "I want to help you Jade, but the more you resist the harder this is going to be. I know how much Cat means to you, but she's not real, you need to learn to let her go."

Jade smirked, "Then why can I see her if she's not real? Why can I feel her and smell her and dream about her. She's the only person that doesn't judge me. Everybody hates me, everybody's left me, and she's the only person I have left." A tear met the edge of Jade's eye but she held it back. "Do you know what it's like when your Father hates you so much he just leaves you without so much as a goodbye? When you spend all your time alone because the boy that you used to love broke up with you because you talk to yourself. When the only girl that has ever been able to have a conversation with you just stops texting you because you can hear the laughter of another girl? It sucks ass, and I want it to all stop," Jade paused, looking down, "But I love Cat."

At first, Dr. Hopkins didn't understand. She offered Jade a concerned look and then one of false understanding that Jade didn't buy at all before she finally said, "What do you mean by love Dear?"

Jade wanted to slap that look off Dr. Hopkins face. "I mean, I love her, I'm in love with her." There should have been shame in Jade's voice, but no. Nobody understood her better than Cat and if loving somebody that stopped you from feeling like absolute crap all the time was bad, then Jade didn't want to be good.

An awkward silence hung in the air as both woman stared at each other, thinking and wondering what they should say next. Dr. Hopkins wanted to tell Jade that those feelings weren't real, that she had made them up because of the emotional longing she'd been feeling since her Dad took off, since Beck dumped her, since her friends stopped associating with her, but she didn't know how to put it nicely. Then there was Jade, who wanted to tell Dr. Hopkins about how they had kissed and cuddled, how Jade had spent an entire night just tracing patterns into Cat's thighs and stomach because she couldn't sleep and was bewitched by Cat's story once again.

"Jade dear, I think you need more help than I can offer you." That was the nicest way to put it, and Jade understated the first time it left Dr. Hopkins lips.

She was being diagnosed as mentally unstable. She was being forced to hide away in a treatment center and talk to Doctors that didn't want to do anything but look at her with accusing eyes and lip gloss smiles.

For the next four months, Jade stayed in her room that she referred to as a cell. She ate meals with the other patients, she talked with them as well, but everyday she waited until nightfall where she would get to see Cat. The place was dreary and gloomy. Half of the light bulbs were blown out and somebody seemed content on leaving them that way. Jade's nose reeked of alcohol swabs, soiled bed sheets and her ears always seemed to be ringing with the insane cries from the people around her.

Beck never called, Tori never called, Andre never called and her Mother only visited twice, just to see if Cat had gone away. Cat never did. It wasn't until her third month there that Jade started to realize that this wasn't just going to be a short trip from the rest of humanity; she was going to be here until they thought she was well and Cat being there didn't help. Jade wanted to be a star, she wanted to direct, to act, to be everything she's always wanted since she was a little girl and even though she loved Cat -loved her more than she could put into words, more than herself, more than her Mom, more than anything- she knew that she needed help.

She started to tell her Doctor more information and she started to listen to him a little more. He was kind and caring, with his gentle words and loving eyes, Jade grew to value his opinions and even looked forward to her scheduled appointments with him.

One night while Jade was lying in bed, she heard a light cough and looked to her right and saw a dazzling red head, dressed in a yellow sun dress with a pink flower in her hair. "You look beautiful." Jade smiled.

Cat did a full spin, showcasing her dress. With a warm smile and giddy face, she leaned in a pecked Jade on the lips, and Jade didn't object. But something about the kiss wasn't the same. Usually Cat's kisses sent Jade to heaven, erased all the bad things she's ever done for just a few moments. This time it didn't. "Something wrong?" Cat raised an eyebrow.

Jade put her hand on top of Cat's and grinned, "No Cat, nothings wrong." It was a lie, a straight up lie. Jade could feel the guilt boiling in her chest, her palms were sweating. Cat was surely going to catch on.

No, Cat didn't. As much as Jade loved her, she wasn't afraid to say that Cat was naive and sometimes oblivious. "Okay!" Cat giggled. She nuzzled her head into the crook of Jade's neck.

"Actually," Jade sighed, shifting away from her girlfriend a little, still keep their fingers woven together, "Cat I'm not being honest with you. They think I'm crazy and they're right. I shouldn't be able to see you, or hear you, or smell you but I do and that's not what makes me insane. It's the fact that I love you so much that even though I'm not sure it would hurt you; I would take a bullet for you because you would do the same for me. It's the fact that I can't go a day without thinking about you, I can kiss you and touch you and nobody else can, but I don't care because it feels right in my heart." Cat just watched Jade with big and bewildered eyes. "Cat, I want to love you for the rest of my life, but I can't do that if I'm stuck in here."

Something inside Cat seemed to snap together like the pieces of a puzzle finally being put into place. Jade could almost hear the whirring of her brains gears as they processed what Jade was trying to say. "You don't want to see me anymore do you?"

A tear cascaded down Jade's face. "I will always love you Cat." Cat smiled and kissed Jade one last time, fiercely and passionately. But still the feeling of total bliss did not spread through Jade.

"I will always love you too." Cat wiped away Jade's tear before she vanished.

Slowly Cat stopped appearing to Jade. At first she stopped visiting just once a week, and then it progressed to four nights a week, then two. Her visits dwindled down until Jade went a whole two weeks without seeing Cat's face or hearing her voice. At fist, Jade wasn't sure what to do. Something inside her felt dug out, almost like she was missing a whole section of herself. It caused her pain, it made her angry, and her emotions went out of whack. That night she cried herself to sleep, but Cat did not come to comfort her.

**-o-**

After Jade was released her friends and family opened her with welcome arms, but things were never quite the same. Beck had moved during her time in treatment, leaving Jade to hangout with Tori and Andre. She didn't mind, they were nice enough. They apologized for the way they acted, said they were sorry a million times and that they don't think she's crazy, but Jade would always catch them from the corner of her eye, glancing at her to make sure she wasn't talking to the air.

For almost two whole months Jade had been Cat free, living life on the wild side with no regrets. Cat didn't show up in mirrors and her giggle didn't wander into Jade's ears. Yes, for two whole months Jade was a normal teenage girl again, until one day in the hallway the floor seemed to be pulled out from under her.

"Cat?" Jade whimpered, almost scared to hear the girl answer back. But it was not Cat's voice that responded, it was the annoying and squeaky voice of the tall brunette beside her,

"Jade, why did you say Cat?" Her eyebrow was raised, she was full of wonder, and she was full of agony. "Jade?" Tori asked once more, this time she gripped Jade's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

"She's there." Jade mumbled, almost hoping Tori hadn't heard her.

"Jade, no she's not. Cat's not real, we've been over this." Jade heard Tori say. Jade calmed herself enough to look into the eyes of the taller brunette; they were filled with extreme worry. Jade wanted them to stop looking so concerned and start looking normal, Jade was normal.

Jade looked back to the petite girl in the middle of the crowd. All she could do was watch, she could move, couldn't speak; nothing seemed to be working right now. Her body was having a melt down. Cat smiled at Jade and walked forward a little until she was ten feet away. The smile she wore was one Jade recognized, one she remembered every night in her sleep.

But then something happened. Cat lifted her hands to her lips and blew Jade a kiss, then she disappeared into nothing. Just like she had the night at the hospital. The trance was broken and Jade looked to Tori, whose look of worry had not passed.

"Jade are you okay?" Tori's voice cracked at the last word.

Jade nodded slowly, "It's going to be fine." She told Tori, "Go along, I need a minute." Tori was hesitant to leave, if she left, Jade might start talking to Cat again, and she might go insane. "Go!" Jade commanded. Tori flew down the hallway, leaving the black haired beauty alone.

Her back hit the wall and slid down slightly. Her but did not touch the floor, she wasn't going down that far, but her head was level with one of the school bulletin boards and her hair got tangled in a tack. Jade pulled away from the wall and spun around after angrily fighting to remove her hair from the wall. She froze in place when she saw what was behind her.

A note, hand written on pink stationary, all i's were dotted with hearts and it had the delicate smell of vanilla on it. It read:

_Dear Jade, I know that we can not see each other until you're ready to leave. I know I may be foolish, but I know that means when you pass away. I want you to rest assured that when you see me again, I'll have that big piano house full of pets waiting for you. Maybe not the kids, they can get annoying sometimes. I really hate that this happened to you, all the suffering I caused you, but I don't think I would have changed a thing because in the end, I get to have you. All the things you've said about me to your Doctor, all the things you've thought, I've read them, I've heard them and I don't think I could have said it better myself. You make me better Jade, whether you're the only one who can see me or not. Promise me that no matter what you'll stay strong; know that I'll always watch out for you, and that I love you._

_Your dearest friend, Cat._

Jade was smiling like an idiot and crying like a fool when she heard a voice behind her. "Jade?" It was Andre. He looked concerned. "What's wrong?" He asked, moving forward when he saw the tears.

She waved the paper in her hands, "I was just reading this letter."

Andre raised an eyebrow, "You're crying because of the school newsletter?" Jade stopped waving it and looked down again. When she looked at it, she saw the pink paper, the beautifully dotted i's, she could smell the vanilla and the tear jerking messages was as clear as day, but Jade understood.

Cat wasn't going to come back until she was dead. Cat wasn't anything but an imaginary person to other people and even though Jade wouldn't be able to see her, she would be able to feel her.

Jade loved Cat, even if she was crazy because of it.


End file.
